millennial matchmaker

It’s that time of year again. If you haven’t already noticed all the heart-shaped cut-outs in store front windows and the seemingly ubiquitous promotions for red roses and chocolates then let me be the one to remind you that today is Valentine’s Day. Love it or hate it, it’s here to stay and regardless of how you feel about the holiday itself it’s hard not to pause and reflect on your own relationship status today.

Need help? According to Facebook’s profile settings, you are likely to be one of the following:

• Single
• In a Relationship
• Engaged
• Married
• It’s Complicated
• In an Open Relationship
• Widowed
• Separated
• Divorced

It’s odd to think that Facebook is now the way in which many of us end up making a relationship status “official” when we declare it to our profile pages. The fact is technology is changing the way we interact, date and even carry on in a relationship with someone. Whether it’s checking someone’s status, conducting your own informal “background check” via social media (come on, don’t deny it…) or following your loved one’s daily agenda by subscribing to their Twitter feed—love via social media is here to stay. 

As I see it, Millennials are particularly impacted by this shift in relationship norms as they navigate today’s treacherous relationship waters.

• Reason #1: Currently, 75% of Millennials are single or have never been married according to a recent study by Pew. So basically 3 out of every 4 Millennials are potentially looking for their significant other or at the very least consider themselves to be unattached in some respects.

• Reason #2: Millennials retain the title of leading generation when it comes to their use of social networking sites (as well as use of instant messaging; using online classifieds; listening to music; playing online games; reading blogs; and participating in virtual worlds). While this isn’t reason enough to make any inferences, I believe that this generation is primed and the most receptive when it comes to looking for love via social networking platforms.

Looking for Love in All the “Right” Places 

Our changing habits in dating and relationships are also reflected in online dating sites, which are now more popular than ever. A survey conducted by Match.com, an online dating site, revealed that the third most common way people (across generations) now meet their future spouses is through an online dating site—preceded only by the more traditional routes of meeting someone through work or school and through friends or family. In fact, according to the study released in 2010, “one in six marriages are now between people who met through an online dating site – more than twice the number of people meeting at bars, at clubs and other social events combined.”

I remember when online dating first started out—before the Match.com, PlentyofFish and eHarmonys of the world even existed—from what I observed, finding your love match online was seriously frowned upon by many and not widely accepted. However, over time this view has drastically changed… in part I believe because of the growth and popularity of social networks and acceptance of sharing personal information online. These online dating tools also are designed to be seamlessly integrated into our modern day lives and have in the process now become a standard part of our current dating culture. 

"The world has changed," said Greg Blatt, CEO of Match.com. "We get married older, we work longer hours, we move around more, we're generally busier. These changes have put pressure on the way we traditionally have met our significant others. Luckily, with these changes has come an increasing openness to doing new things. Online dating has grown so much in part as a response to these societal changes, having become the third most important way we meet our significant others, even though it didn't even exist 15 years ago."

How Do You Feel About Long Walks on the Beach?

What do you think about the popularity of online dating? Will social media and online dating ever supplant in person meet-ups and love at first sight? I don’t think so, however as we continue to integrate social media into our lives and post increasingly large volumes of personal information it is clear that our connections with others will inevitably change as will the ways in which we use social media.

The change will impact more than just our love lives as well...in addition to these changes in our personal relationships we also can see our relationship with social media evolving. Take for example a recent endeavor by Facebook to look at how one’s relationship status may also be an indicator of happiness. Facebook looked at the use of positive and negative words in status messages over the course of one week and linked the data to Facebook relationship statuses. They found that “People who are in relationships [in a relationship, engaged, married] do seem happier than those who are not in relationships. The people that seem the most unhappy are those that either don’t disclose their relationship status or those that are in an open relationship. However, those that don’t disclose their relationship at all are about 50% more negative than everyone else.”

As if you didn’t already have enough to think about today… did you skip that first question about your relationship status? Better take a second look!