nonprofit

I find that whenever I need to say something difficult - like “I totally disagree with you” or “I think you're a jerk” or even “I’d like to go out with you” – it’s always easier to do that while leaning on technology. I'll say things over email or text that I might have a harder time saying in person. Similarly, it’s amazing to see some of the nasty, negative, and frankly, unproductive things people will say in online forums or blog comments when they can anonymously post a cheap shot with a couple of clicks.

I finally got around to watching Up in the Air this week, and its commentary on the sometimes inappropriate use of technology struck me. Even though the characters make a living off of firing people, they were convinced that there are times when face-to-face interaction provides dignity in a way that technology can't. Firing someone via Skype or ending a relationship via text is not ok. When you can easily forget that there's a person on the other side of that social media system, it also becomes much easier to shoot off an impersonal response.

The same can be true for people trying to leverage social media for a cause. I recently heard a suggestion that an important way to reach Millennial donors is to ask them face to face. This seems counter-intuitive at first because we are the digital natives. We are comfortable communicating, banking, shopping, dating - you name it - online, but maybe that's the problem. Online tools can make it too easy to be faceless and treat others like they are faceless as well, so as individuals, we find ourselves not only posting snarky comments, but also saying no, no and no to fundraising appeals, votes in online contests, surveys and volunteer opportunities.

But I should say it works both ways. As cause advocates, social media can also encourage us to exchange people for metrics over and over. People become Twitter followers, Facebook fans, LinkedIn connections, contest votes, blog comments and clicks. We end up getting caught up in popularity contests and demonstrations of our influence and losing sight of the unique value of social media to promote two-way communication and truly involving citizens in our causes and work.

If you're reading this blog, you probably know we think technology is great. And when people use it for good, that's even better. It allows us to connect in cheaper, faster, better ways with people we might have never met, rediscovered or stayed connected to without it. But we also know that technology is best used when it enables offline action, whether that's organizing a Meetup, Tweetup or service project, donating money that will give someone clean water or access to education, or just helping you exchange ideas with someone who may help you to improve the way you function offline.

So how can we maintain the personal interaction that keeps us all accountable to valuing and treating people like we would face to face?

• Get a little personal. One gift that social media is giving us is the trend to move away from anonymous identities like luv4kittens37 to full names, photos and professional associations that encourage people to think of social media as what it should be - an extension of their offline lives, and not an escape where they can do and say things differently face to face. Let’s embrace that and let our personalities come through blending our personal and professional a bit.
• Remember that storytelling is highly important. Kivi Leroux Miller and Nancy Schwartz have both shared helpful tips on how to share the story of your cause to engage supporters. While people will always argue with statistics and generalizations, it’s hard to deny someone’s personal experience, which can often open the door to helpful discussion.
• Know when it's time to take something offline. Many online interactions and projects eventually reach a point at which they need to move offline to continue to be productive. Whether in maintaining an individual relationship or in working for social change, we have to keep an eye out for how and when face to face is the best choice.
• Finally, and admittedly a bit abstractly, each of us has to be responsible for repeatedly reminding ourselves that there is always an offline impact of what we do online – positive and negative. Online donations, votes and volunteerism helps real people just as ignoring and insulting online hurts them.

How else can we balance the full advantage of technology while holding on to the value of sitting in a room with someone?

Life is full of disappointments for Millennials. Over and over again we are faced with the realization that things are not what we expected them to be. Santa isn't real. Milli Vanilli wasn't really singing. Capri pants are not actually flattering on anyone. And the Wizard of Oz is just a little man behind a curtain. And these disappointments occasionally pervade our work as well. We are a very idealistic generation, with very high standards for ourselves, our organizations, our colleagues and our politicians, but we have had to face disappointments in the organizations we have been involved with and our sector as a whole.

In conversations with my peers, I have found recurring themes of disappointment. There's competition where we expected collaboration, ego where we expected humility. I recently saw someone tweet about how disappointing it is to learn that a nonprofit organization you trust and admire does not treat their employees well. Many of us felt mislead when we first learned about that our loan to Kiva wasn't really helping the taxi company entrepreneur buy his first car in Tanzania. The Red Cross's response to helping victims of 9/11, and then Katrina, was criticized for lacking transparency, accountability and cooperation. The Center for Civic Education appears to have misused almost $6 million in taxpayer money. In many cases we may find, upon closer inspection that these things can be explained by efficacy and simplicity, or were misunderstandings. But they can still be hard to swallow.

I am disappointed (and annoyed, frankly) every time I see an organization that I have previously supported represented by what some appropriately call “chuggers” (charity muggers) - those people with clipboards that follow you down the street, making you feel like a criminal because you don't "have a minute to save the environment" or "care to help change the lot of a single mother in a developing country." I don't like that my previously donated dollars could be paying someone to harass me on the street, and it goes against what I believe about charitable giving by paying people to stand on the street and beg for money from complete strangers who have no known connection to or interest in their cause or relationship with the person asking, not to mention the questions about efficacy, damage to brand, or fair labor practices.

And while there are valid reasons for many of the things we find disappointing, we end up feeling jaded about organizations we work for, partner with or give to. One temptation might be to launch our own initiatives because at least we know that we won't sell out, we won't treat people poorly, we won't lose sight of our mission, we won't misuse funds. But we already know I don't think that being disillusioned with how a few organizations function qualifies you to start your own. And we realize that just up and leaving the sector isn't going to fix anything either. So what do we do? How do we regain perspective? A few ideas:

• Volunteer with another organization. Get a little outside your nonprofit and get back to the face-to-face, remember why you are doing what you're doing. Every time I spend a little time with the City Year Corps here in D.C., I feel a little better about our world and it’s future. We are all flawed people, so we bring those flaws to work sometimes, but we are here to make a difference and I really believe we are doing that.
• Do a reality check. We have a tendency to be a very idealistic generation - and I love that about us. It drives us to go hard after things that previous generations didn’t think were possible, didn’t value as important, or both, and we will achieve many of them, but swallowing a healthy dose of realism could help keep us from becoming totally jaded. No organization is perfect, and not everything is black and white. To employ a couple more clichés, don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, but take off the rose-colored glasses, accept how things work sometimes, and you will begin to see how you can best function in this space and make the greatest difference you can in an imperfect world.
• Spend some time with a mentor. I think it's always interesting to contrast my experience with those of the people who have been doing this longer than I have. My dad didn't always love his job, but he stuck with the same organization for 30 years because that's what people did. As a woman, I am conscious that many of the women we work with have had to fight to overcome adversity from all sides: men who don't respect them as superiors, other mothers who think they shouldn't be working with children at home. There have always been disappointments in this, and every, sector, but we will continue to fight to improve it, just like the Boomers did, and hearing about that occasionally could do us some good.
• Consider appropriate channels and opportunities to express your concerns. If we aren't doing anything about it, it's not helpful to sit around and lament. So, taking a dose of my own medicine, I've written an email to an organization who regularly sends me updates and requests for donations, who I have supported in the past, but who I've felt kind of "ew" about since I've been accosted by their chuggers on the street. I know my email probably won't change their practices. If so many organizations have started harassing people on the street, it must work. But one instance of feedback is better than none, and I will have done my part. As we saw with Kiva, constructive, public criticism can be really productive. They responded well, explaining their methods and resolving to be more transparent in the future about what making a loan through Kiva really means.

Life is not really a box of chocolates, and there are sour moments when we see the man behind the curtain. But we aren't quitters, so let's learn from disappointments, gain perspective from those who can provide it and continue to challenge each other to be better.