Photo Courtesy of greekadman.
This month marks the 10th anniversary of National Mentoring Month (NMM). Created by the Harvard School of Public Health and MENTOR, NMM draws much needed attention to the need for mentors, and celebrates how we can work together to help young people from all walks of life find their own success. We at Social Citizens have noted time and time again the importance of having a mentor(s) and cultivating that relationship for both personal and professional successes.
We turned to iMentor, a special group that facilitates mentoring relationships using a unique combination of email exchanges and in-person meetings, for tips on how to create a meaningful and lasting mentoring relationship. This year, iMentor is serving 1,800 high school students in New York City and bringing its online program nationwide through partnerships with schools and nonprofits in over 20 states.
This special two-part blog post (visit CaseFoundation.org next week) pays tribute to both mentors and mentees in honor of NMM and explores the evolving nature of mentoring relationships.
What are some of the greatest challenges for young people, who may want a mentor, but do not know how to find one or may not even know that an outlet such as mentoring exists?
All young people—regardless of their race, class, gender, ethnicity or location—need people to guide them through making informed decisions. The two of us believe that adults have a responsibility to make mentoring a visible part of our lives. Successful adults often feel that they need to appear self-sufficient, even when this isn’t the case.
Neither one of us has ever met anyone who had achieved success without the help of a support network. Adults need to spread the message that no one should face life’s challenges alone. As this message becomes clearer, mentoring will become more a more visible thread in the fabric of American culture.
At iMentor, we primarily serve first-generation college students and recent immigrants with limited financial resources. This population faces many difficult academic, financial, social and emotional challenges. Without relationships to college-educated adults, they face a disproportionate risk of not finishing high school and never entering college.
The lifestyle of a young adult now is markedly different from that of older mentors when they were at the same age… for example there are different academic pressures, technology opportunities and social networks to contend with these days. Do you think that mentoring relationships can still be successful despite these “differences” in experience?
Technology is developing at lightning speed, and we have even observed differences between mentees in their teens and mentors in their mid-twenties. Regardless, we have found that inter-generational mentoring can be very successful. The key is for mentors and mentees to embrace their differences and recognize their respective strengths. Differences often provide great learning opportunities.
When inter-generational conflicts arise, we encourage our mentors to find out what their mentees are experts in (such as sports or social media). We then coach our mentors to let their mentees teach them about what they know. This makes mentees feel great, and actually helps them bond with their mentors.
Age is just one of the many differences that can exist in mentoring relationships. The key to negotiating difference is refusing to be intimidated by it. Instead of ignoring difference, recognize it and commit to viewing it as a learning opportunity. Mentoring can be a great way to gain exposure to new cultures, experiences and viewpoints. This process takes work, but it’s worth it.
How can prospective mentors and mentees get involved and connect with one another? What should someone interested in mentoring do if there is no established mentoring program in their community?
Students: If you can’t find a mentoring program in your community, look for a mentor among the adults in your life.
- Create a list of the adults you know who care about you and make it your goal to build closer relationships with them.
- Be creative! Your teachers, coaches and pastors are all potential mentors.
- The key is to find someone you admire and trust.
Grown-ups: If there isn’t a mentoring program in your area, you can still be a mentor. Do you know a young person who could use your support? If so, reach out and begin building a relationship. If you don’t know where to start, contact a school, church or community group in your area to find out how to volunteer.
Why not get your friends involved and start your own mentoring program? Today is a perfect opportunity to make a difference!
If you live in NYC or in a city where an iMentor Interactive partner operates, sign up to become a mentor today. If iMentor isn’t in your area, MENTOR is a great organization that provides information about mentoring opportunities nationwide.
Special thanks to iMentor’s Brooke Bryant, Development Manager; Ellen Mahoney, Director of Volunteers; and Unique Fraser, Director of Curricula for contributing to this piece.